Dating a dog owner… the good the bad and the ugly

As many of you know, I’ve been running a dog service business for the last 12 years. In those years I’ve met several hundreds of dog owners, married, divorced, dating single and everything in between.

I’ve become good friends with some of my customers and many have expressed their struggles and privileges of dating while being a dog owner. Dating someone with a dog can be great and it can be a nightmare so I decided to write a post to help readers know what to look out for when dating a dog owner and to help dog owners understand the perspective of someone they’re dating.

A disclaimer before I begin… I may make some generalizations and I do not mean to offend anyone. Yes they are exceptions to everything, I’m only sharing my observations through the years.

The good:

1. If you’re a dog lover you get to have the companionship of someone romantically while acquiring the companionship of a new dog. As an added bonus, if you’re only dating and not living with one another, you get to enjoy the dog without having all of the responsibilities of taking care of it. Kind of like grandparents, aunts and uncles get to enjoy their grandchildren, nieces and nephews

2. If you’re looking to have children eventually, dating someone with a dog is a good indicator of what kind of parent they will be

3. Most of the time, when you date a dog owner they will be someone who’s compassionate and capable of loving and caring for someone other than themselves… MOST OF THE TIME

4. Being a dog owner requires discipline and responsibility. You have to wake up early to get the dog out to pee, you have to be accountable for your dog and for what your dog does, you have to feed and clean up after your dog etc. I’ve met people who were lazy and irresponsible and dog ownership completely changed them for the better. This responsibility and accountability may spill over to other aspects in life which is good if you’re dating a dog owner

The Bad:

1. When you date a dog owner, eventually you’re going to be expected to help out with taking care of the dog. This expectation may not be expressed verbally by the person you’re dating but it is implied, trust me it is! I’ve worked with many couple where one person felt like it wasn’t their dog so they shouldn’t have any of the responsibility and trust me, it never works out and it becomes an issue in the relationship. If you’re not a dog person, this may be even more of an issue.

2. While you get to enjoy the companionship of your partner’s dog, you also have to deal with the dog. Including any behavioral issues, dog hair, odors etc. if you’re a dog owner, it will be in both your and your partner’s interests if you worked on these issues before getting into a relationship and maintain a clean home and dog. If you’re an owner of a dirty and smelly dog and home and you get that hot date to come over, good luck getting them to come back!

3. When you date someone with a dog, it might be a challenge staying out late and traveling with your partner because your partner has to be home by a certain time for their dog and if you want to take a trip with your partner it’s probably not going to happen if you don’t find someone reliable and trustworthy enough to take care of the dog while you’re both away. This is something I’ve had to struggle with personally in my dating life. I can be out on a date having a great time and I’ll have to run home to get my dog out to pee and sometimes my date isn’t too happy about that

4. Money issues. Men I’m going to pick on you here because we can be a little too frugal at times. 90 percent of my new customer inquiries are initiated by women and in my observation mostly women are willing to provide the best for their dogs. Men, for the most part spend money on dog care and training only if it’s absolutely necessary and when they do they often will try to go the cheap route. When it comes to dog care, you pay for what you get and this can cause conflict between couples. Dog ownership can be expensive and we all know financial issues are one of the primary killers of romantic relationships. So men, step up, work hard and be a good dog dad provider. If your girlfriend’s dog is sick, and you pickup the vet bill, she’ll see you as a hero!

The ugly:

1. There can be major conflicts that may occur of you’re a dog owner dating another dog owner. You have to consider whether or not the dogs will get along. I’ve met couples who both own 2 powerful dogs in a small apartment and the situation can get tense. One person will start blaming the other person’s dog and it may cause animosity within the relationship. When I first started dating who is now my ex wife I had a large American Bulldog named Boomer and she had a tiny yorkie named Lela. Boomer was the perfect dog, well behaved, quiet, house trained and friendly however lela was a dominant little dog with an attitude. It would have been an issue for most couples but luckily I’m a dog trainer

2. Your partner’s dog may not like you. I’ve worked with many couple where this was an issue and some people had to deal with actually getting bit by a their partner’s dog. If you own a dog like this, it is your obligation to work on it. No one should have to deal with that and if you find someone who’s willing to work with you through that with you, you should consider yourself lucky and appreciate them.

3. Ladies I’m going to pick on you here and please don’t hate me but I’ve noticed this trend a lot with female dog owners especially in the last several years. A lot of women have the mentality that their dog’s are their babies which is ok but many of them have the attitude that their dog comes first before any man which is ok too but it’s going to be very difficult to sustain a harmonious relationship with someone with that attitude. If you’re lucky enough to have a partner who loves your dog, helps out with taking care of your dog and is a good person, in my humble opinion that person should have some say in how the dog should be managed and trained. There have been countless times I’ve had consultations with dog owner couples where the woman would do all the talking and I can see in the man’s face that he’s terrified to chime in and express his opinions on why the dog is having so many behavior problems. I then have to take of my dog trainer’s hat on out on my couple counselor’s hat. You have to work together and you can’t dominate all the decisions regarding your dog if someone else is sharing the responsibilities of taking care of your dog. Dog ownership is so much easier and joyful when you have a good partner you’re on the same page with! 🐶❤️